My Ministry Plans

What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up
Growing up I wanted to be a teacher. From the first few times Mom or Dad would ask me until 6th grade that was always my answer. Then during 6th and 7th grade I decided I wanted to be a writer. I also always thought it would be really amazing to be a doctor so I could help people but I knew I could never stomach a lot of things doctors must do (so I decided I'd settle for being a doctor in the game of Life).

Ministry and Me
When I started 8th grade I led the Christian Club at my middle school. During that year I fell in love with ministry. I loved teaching, writing sermons, and listening to people who would come to me with problems. Interestingly enough, I realized all the careers I had been interested in previously fit in with ministry. Ministry involves teaching, writing sermons, and helping people. It seemed as though things had just fallen into place. Two years before I had found a great church and for the first time in my life I felt like the messages applied to me and made sense. I went from being distant and unwilling to know more about God to being eager to learn more. That is the difference a good pastor can make. I wanted to be a good pastor who would do for others what my new pastors were doing for me.

New Orleans
The summer between my freshman and sophomore year of high school I went on my second mission trip, which was to New Orleans. Going into it I had no idea what to expect or what an impact the trip would have on the course of my life. One morning in late June of 2013 I hopped onto a 15 passenger van and took off on the adventure of a lifetime. During my twelve day trip I interacted with homeless people whose stories affected me, kids whose smiles melted me, and pastors whose visions inspired me. We got to meet a homeless man whose prized possession was his Bible and a group of bikers who go around sharing the Gospel. We saw a church at work changing people's lives and we saw the result of many people's generosity when we saw all the homes that had been built for people who lost theirs in Hurricane Katrina. But I was also met with gift shops which made me want to run out as soon as I walked in and I had to walk down streets knowing that one block over were countless bars and clubs which to people flock to fill up their lives. We had to walk by people on "harmless" voodoo tours which are popular in the city. Our first night in New Orleans we were told by Pastor Byron that New Orleans was a wonderful city but that it became something completely different at night. When I came home I was greatly conflicted by the things I saw. On one hand there was lots of drug dealing, gang activity, crime, drunkenness, and lust. The Devil was at work there - that was for sure. But God was too - there was no doubt about that either. For six months a day would not pass when I wouldn't think of the incredible people I met there and worked with there. Those daily run-ins with the trip in my mind was God planting an idea in my head. I just didn't know it then.

Questioning to Confidence and a New Plan
In January of 2014 I went on the Revolution winter retreat through Eagle Brook. During that time I was struggling with whether God was calling me to be a pastor or if I was calling myself to be a pastor. I loved running Christian Club, leading a small group of middle school girls, and going on mission trips. I loved serving God but the thing is anyone can serve God in their jobs. Was vocational ministry really my calling or did God want me to use a different job to serve Him? I didn't know anymore. But on that retreat I found my answer to that question and the answer to another question I hadn't really thought to ask... For my morning break out session I chose "Leadership/Calling". With the questioning I had been doing lately it seemed like the right place to go. I went and I am so glad I did. Nate, the Student Ministries pastor at the Lino Lakes campus at the time, taught me so many things. Nate said that your calling is to make a difference in the world using the gifts and passions God put inside you. It was then I realized that the God had put in me a passion for ministry and gifts that could help me in ministry like patience, good listening skills, compassion, determination, and wisdom. Nate also said something that gave me peace. He said that there isn't just one career that is right for you. I walked out of that session confident once again that ministry would be an incredible career for me. Later that evening we had a large group session led by the high school teaching pastor Alex. The big question at the end of it was "where is God leading you?" Right then I knew where God was calling me. New Orleans.

The Coming Years
I just completed my Freshman year at UNW a few weeks ago. It will be several more years until I finish my program, a five year program where I will get my bachelor's in Pastoral Ministry and my master's in Divinity, but I am excited for what lies ahead of me. This coming year I will finish up all my remaining general courses and get to start taking ministry courses. Then, with any amount of luck, I will get to do my first internship next summer.

Update (7/23/16): I always assumed that when told me 'New Orleans' that winter night two and a half years ago that He meant I would be there forever. As I sit back here in New Orleans, I wonder whether maybe God meant that I needed to come back here to learn. Being here for the summer has taught me so much and I will never be the same because of it. However, I can't shake the desire to be back home doing ministry in the Twin Cities again. I wonder if maybe God wanted me back in New Orleans for this - to teach me new things about urban ministry and to help me realize my love & passion for the Twin Cities. I don't know this for sure. Maybe I will end up back here long-term. But maybe I will spend a lot more time in the Twin Cities than I ever thought I would. All I know is God has been showing me just how deep my love for home is. No matter what my future holds, I know God goes before me and yet is still with me.